Dirty Love: It Ain't Easy to Love Like Jesus, But We Kinda Need To.

It is not an uncommon occurrence for people to tell us about a problem that they are having. After all, they are either griping and grumbling or they have a legitimate dilemma in their life. In the event of having a legitimate problem, they need someone to be there by their side. Yet, in our culture, we are often too busy to give people that support.

Christians are called to live in a sacrificial manner, loving people in a way that is anything but beneficial from the Earthly viewpoint. Would loving that person inconvenience you? Would it make you late for something? Would you lose productivity? If you can answer yes to any of those, then you probably should go ahead and do what you can to show love. Love is dirty and difficult.

So, what are some ways to show love to people? Perhaps you'd like to know how and simply cannot think of a way. Well, here's a quick list of things that I thought of. There are many more, but I hope this gets you thinking!

1. Say nice things. When someone is having a hard time, or even just trying to get through a normal day (which is hard enough, amiright?!), they could almost always use a word of encouragement. Job was not having a good time of things when he lost all of his possessions, children and own personal health. It appeared that God had completely abandoned him, and he could have used a little bit of cheer. Instead, his friends opted to shame him and try to get him to confess whatever sin he had committed to make God do this. Job even calls them out on it in chapter 16, calling them "miserable comforters." How often are we miserable comforters, either failing to support at all or filling their lives with all of our "advice" about how they can get out of their situation?

Rarely does the person going through a breakup, battling a health issue or failing a class need more advice, especially not in the midst of their darkest hour. What people need more than anything is support and love, letting them know that we are there for them. If there is a sin problem causing their issue, it should be addressed, but not in the form of a brutal chastisement. Think about how you'd feel in their shoes, and respond with love.

So send someone a little note. Say they look cute (in a non-creepy way...) or notice their new hair. Compliment their Tervis tumbler (those are still popular, right?). You never know how far that brief word of positivity can go.

[Side bar: someone who really understands this is Hannah Brencher, the founder/starting blogger at www.moreloveletters.com. Go check out their work. It's officially one of my favorite things right now.]

2. Do something nice. Sometimes people just need to know you are thinking of them. When Jesus saw the crowds hungry in Mark 6:34, the Bible says that He "had compassion on them." He then proceeded to give them a simply dinner of fish and bread (for 5,000 people!). Now, this does not mean that we must feed crowds of people, but it does mean that we have compassion for people in need and be willing to go out of our way to do a little something for them.

Bring them coffee on a cold morning. Surprise them with a little gift that they mentioned in conversation a while ago. Drop some food over at a friend's room during finals. Scrape the snow off their car. Pay a drive-thru meal behind you, or maybe even just give someone a ride home when they need one. It's the little things, y'all.

3. Spend time with them. People get lonely, and that can actually increase during the holiday season. Be willing to make time in your schedule for the people in your life that need you. You and I are likely surrounded by a group of people that could use a little bit of our time. So what if you're busy? I get it, that is usually my excuse, too. But Jesus, ruler of all, stepped out of His eternal rule of all things that exist, have existed and will ever exist in order to walk around Israel for a few years, spend time with some rather dense individuals and ultimately die on a cross and rise again for our benefit. If He made time for the people that deserved His least (note: that's us), then we can give up an hour (or afternoon!) somewhere in our schedule for people that need us.

Go grab lunch or tea. Give them a call and talk about life. Watch basketball with the kids. Drink hot cocoa with your elderly grandparents. Help someone fix their car (unless you're more likely to break it more, and in that case go with them to get it fixed). Show that your schedule is not as important as the people around you.

People need love. Simple as that. Our lives should not be so pristine, and I know that mine has been far too clean for far too long. Love is dirty and difficult, and loving people the right way (the Jesus way) is hard work. So be willing to put in the time and effort to do it. It can be as cheap as a hug or a little smiley face on an index card stuck between the keys of their keyboard. It ain't easy, but it is necessary for the Christian. No efforts are perfect, but all efforts are better than the one that doesn't happen!

Go out, and by the end of the week, I want you to do one thing for somebody, and then shoot me an email at thefreedbug@gmail.com. Lemme know how it went. After all, I could use some more ideas on how to love people myself. :)

A Grace-Propelled Patience

I love Starbucks. Few things in my life bring as much simple, sweet happiness as a tall peppermint mocha or an iced coffee with milk and toffeenut syrup. It's the small things, yo. So, with a few minutes to spare before work yesterday, I went to Starbucks to grab a coffee before I was on my Kroger grind for six-and-a-half hours. After all, what better prepares one for work than caffeine and sugar? I submit that there is nothing.

I was in the drive-thru, and only two cars were between me and the window. Score. I'm going to be at work on time. And yet, the care in front of me aimed to change that. They received four drinks through the window, as well as a gift bag with something in it. They, no lie, took about five minutes to complete their order and drive off.

The entire time that they were dominating the drive-thru and dwindling my time to get to work, I fought a battle within my mind. Much of me was frustrated and impatient.

I knew I shouldn't have wasted time on this.

I'm going to be late.

Come on people, let's go.

What the crap did you order?!

All the while, my mind also told me to be patient. The Spirit pushed and prodded my heart to remain calm. The reward would be worth the wait. I am in Christ, and as such, should exude patience as one of the fruits of the Spirit. Patience should define my life. Alas, I was not patient and remained frustrated at the long wait. By the time I got to the window, my stress levels were rising. I'm paying for this, daggumit!

And then I got my drink for free. Starbucks gave me a free gift because of my wait.

I was not patient.

I did not pay.

I was gifted this cup of coffee, despite my attitude, and it changed my entire perspective on the wait. When I wasn't paying for it, when I was being given something with no work or payment of my own, the wait no longer seemed so bad. Had I known the whole time that my coffee was free, I'd venture to say that I would not have been so impatient. I would, instead, have been calm and peaceful. I would have used my wait for more God-glorifying thoughts. Perhaps I'd have prayed. Perhaps I'd have read my Bible app. Perhaps I would have just been patient, which is glorifying in and of itself.

Don't you see that this is our lives, Christian? We have the free gifts of salvation and the Spirit within us and our future in glory with Christ (which are all immeasurably more amazing and beautiful than a mere cup of coffee), and yet we are impatient with God's timing in our lives. How ungrateful are we?

When one gives you a gift, we must depend upon their timing. How ridiculous would my impatience have been had I known that Starbucks was giving me a free cup? I'd have been unappreciative of the giver's heart, and would have disgraced the gift. It would be as if I were still running the show, demanding that a gift only make me happy if it is what I want, when I want it. Absurd!

Grace, therefore, should propel us towards patience. Every good thing comes from God (James 1:17), and we are undeserving of any good (Romans 3). It follows that all good things we receive are gifts of grace from a loving, good God. We have no say; these gifts are waiting for us in His time, in spite of our impatience and frustration with the wait. Instead, we should pursue patience. Patience shows a grateful heart for not just gifts such as His provision in our lives, His listening to our prayers or even His bringing us onto the throne with Christ in the end of time, but also for the Giver Himself. Patience shows that we trust that God has something good for us, and that we believe that He will give it to us in time. Patience shows that we understand His sovereignty, His love and His goodness.

Be patient, fellow Christian. The Giver of gifts knows best; let this truth of His grace launch you to new depths of patience!

"I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, entreat you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing forbearance to one another in love," -Ephesians 4:1-2

"Rest in the LORD and wait patiently for Him; Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way, Because of the man who carries out wicked schemes. Cease from anger, and forsake wrath; Do not fret, it leads only to evildoing. For evildoers will be cut off, But those who wait for the LORD, they will inherit the land." -Psalm 37:7-9

"Be patient, therefore, brethren, until the coming of the Lord. Behold, the farmer waits for the precious produce of the soil, being patient about it, until it gets the early and late rains. You too be patient; strengthen your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is at hand." -Galatians 6:9

A Word to Young Ladies...From the Christ-Following Guys Out Here

This post is written to all of those young Christian ladies out there, from the point of view of a young Christian man. Hopefully, some of the young ladies that are following God out there will see this and be helped to see where the heart of many Christian dudes my age (college-aged) is. I don't tend to write more personal posts like this one, but it's really on my heart today, so enjoy. It's about to get real up in here.

Dear Ladies,

There is a massive problem on our college campuses (and in the world as a whole): the idea of a biblical man is becoming a rarer and rarer goal for guys our age (I'm sure I just got an "amen" from some of you). Dudes are simply not willing to man up and be the spiritual leader anymore. In fact, being a spiritual man isn't all that popular, in general.

However, there isn't only bad news. The God-fearing man is not extinct, and in many ways, is making a comeback. Many college-aged guys are striving to follow God in a more real and serious manner these days. While the total number of us may be few, there is a population of young men that are trying to follow after God with all their heart, mind, soul and strength.

Yes, we stumble. We fail. We don't always have it together. We may even fall in front of you. Yet, we exist. While many of us are growing in Christ, we are also not meant to be alone. This is where you come in.

This same group of men is looking for you. Ok, not you specifically. That would be creepy. We are looking, however, for a woman that is truly running after her Lord and Savior. We are searching for a girl who has sold out and given all that her heart can give to Christ and her walk with Him. We are in pursuit of a woman that sounds like the words of Solomon in Proverbs:

"Charm is deceptive and beauty

is fleeting,

but a woman who fears the Lord

will be praised."

-Proverbs 31:30, HCSB

You see, a nice appearance is great. This is not a letter suggesting that you swap the gym for the couch. No, I'm instead encouraging you to go deeper and deeper in your walk with God. Fear the Lord. Love Him. Be passionate about His mission, reflect His heart and walk in His grace.

All of this is to say: ladies, your Christian walk is important to us, as well. Not every guy is into yoga pants and low-cut shirts; some guys are into a woman with a bible in her hand and prayers on her lips. If you want to truly attract a God-fearing man, reflect the words of Proverbs 31 instead of Cosmo.

Don't be afraid to be that kind of woman. Encourage us to be the men of God that we should be. If both men and women in the Church would encourage the other sex to follow the Lord with all their heart, and help each other do so, there could be a lot of happy young men and women, all serving the Lord with all they have.

My prayer is that my generation would grab hold of this. I pray that young men would step up and take their walk seriously, becoming the spiritual leaders they are made to be. I pray that young women would put aside the opinions of the world and run headlong after their Savior, becoming the God-fearing woman of Proverbs 31. I pray that men and women of the Church would come together and serve our King in His mission, and I pray that y'all are praying for this, as well.

Ladies, stay steadfast. The biblically-based man is out there. I promise.

Sincerely,
A young man in search of the Proverbs 31 woman

Are You Talking About Bread?

Have you ever felt like you just didn't have the patience to wait on something? I know that I have, that's for sure. It just happens. We, as human beings, just are not very patient beings. Yet, the Bible teaches us directly to be patient.

Never mind Job, who many know is the epitome of a patient human. One only needs to read the Book of Job, which I strongly encourage, to see the stuff he dealt with, and yet remain patient. No, instead, I ask that we look today at Jesus.

Jesus was patient, obviously: He is, after all, the Son of God. It's the manner of which His patience was tested that has struck me today. Just look at this passage:

6 Then Jesus told them [the disciples], "Watch out and beware of the yeast of the Pharisees and Saducees [trouble-making hypocrites of the Jewish leadership]." 7 And they discussed among themselves, "We didn't bring any bread." 8 Aware of this, Jesus said, "You of little faith! Why are you discussing among yourselves that you do not have bread? 9 Don't you understand yet? Don't you remember the five loaves for the 5,000 and how many baskets you collected? 10 Or the seven loaves for the 4,000 and how many large baskets you collected? 11 Why is it you don't understand that when I told you, 'Beware of the yeast of the Pharisees and Sadducees,' it wasn't about bread?" -Matthew 16: 6-11, HCSB

I don't know about you, and how much you have read the Books of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John (the "Gospels"), but I can tell you from my readings: the disciples were not the brightest Easter eggs in the basket. In fact, they were borderline dull. Over and over, Jesus would give them a teaching, and they simply wouldn't grasp it at all. Clearly, He was not discussing the literal bread that the Jewish leaders made (I doubt they were very good bakers). If I were Jesus, I would have gotten new disciples. I simply wouldn't have the patience to deal with those dim-witted buffoons. Yet, these were the men He entrusted when He left the Earth to spread the good news of the Gospels. I mean, really?

It would be one thing had Jesus put up with the disciples for a little while on Earth, and then found some men more intellectual for the task at hand of spreading His name. Instead, He left them in charge. Guess what: it worked.

-Simon Peter, who was about as stubborn and brash as they come, went on the minister to the Jewish people for the duration of his life. He wrote two books of the New Testament. He is considered the founder of the Church. He was killed for his faith.

-John went on to write five books himself, and was the only one that was not killed; he only died in exile on a tiny island.

All in all, these eleven men (we won't count Judas as he was dead before Christ was resurrected), most of whom were not very intelligent, tactical, or verbose, were able to use the guidance of the Holy Spirit to take the truth of Christ to the world.

If Christ was able to use these guys for such a big job, how much more can He do with you? Are you focusing on bread and other Earthly, meaningless focuses, or are you allowing Christ to teach you something bigger? Do you have a job ahead of you, and just haven't found it? Maybe you should find out.