A Grace-Propelled Patience

I love Starbucks. Few things in my life bring as much simple, sweet happiness as a tall peppermint mocha or an iced coffee with milk and toffeenut syrup. It's the small things, yo. So, with a few minutes to spare before work yesterday, I went to Starbucks to grab a coffee before I was on my Kroger grind for six-and-a-half hours. After all, what better prepares one for work than caffeine and sugar? I submit that there is nothing.

I was in the drive-thru, and only two cars were between me and the window. Score. I'm going to be at work on time. And yet, the care in front of me aimed to change that. They received four drinks through the window, as well as a gift bag with something in it. They, no lie, took about five minutes to complete their order and drive off.

The entire time that they were dominating the drive-thru and dwindling my time to get to work, I fought a battle within my mind. Much of me was frustrated and impatient.

I knew I shouldn't have wasted time on this.

I'm going to be late.

Come on people, let's go.

What the crap did you order?!

All the while, my mind also told me to be patient. The Spirit pushed and prodded my heart to remain calm. The reward would be worth the wait. I am in Christ, and as such, should exude patience as one of the fruits of the Spirit. Patience should define my life. Alas, I was not patient and remained frustrated at the long wait. By the time I got to the window, my stress levels were rising. I'm paying for this, daggumit!

And then I got my drink for free. Starbucks gave me a free gift because of my wait.

I was not patient.

I did not pay.

I was gifted this cup of coffee, despite my attitude, and it changed my entire perspective on the wait. When I wasn't paying for it, when I was being given something with no work or payment of my own, the wait no longer seemed so bad. Had I known the whole time that my coffee was free, I'd venture to say that I would not have been so impatient. I would, instead, have been calm and peaceful. I would have used my wait for more God-glorifying thoughts. Perhaps I'd have prayed. Perhaps I'd have read my Bible app. Perhaps I would have just been patient, which is glorifying in and of itself.

Don't you see that this is our lives, Christian? We have the free gifts of salvation and the Spirit within us and our future in glory with Christ (which are all immeasurably more amazing and beautiful than a mere cup of coffee), and yet we are impatient with God's timing in our lives. How ungrateful are we?

When one gives you a gift, we must depend upon their timing. How ridiculous would my impatience have been had I known that Starbucks was giving me a free cup? I'd have been unappreciative of the giver's heart, and would have disgraced the gift. It would be as if I were still running the show, demanding that a gift only make me happy if it is what I want, when I want it. Absurd!

Grace, therefore, should propel us towards patience. Every good thing comes from God (James 1:17), and we are undeserving of any good (Romans 3). It follows that all good things we receive are gifts of grace from a loving, good God. We have no say; these gifts are waiting for us in His time, in spite of our impatience and frustration with the wait. Instead, we should pursue patience. Patience shows a grateful heart for not just gifts such as His provision in our lives, His listening to our prayers or even His bringing us onto the throne with Christ in the end of time, but also for the Giver Himself. Patience shows that we trust that God has something good for us, and that we believe that He will give it to us in time. Patience shows that we understand His sovereignty, His love and His goodness.

Be patient, fellow Christian. The Giver of gifts knows best; let this truth of His grace launch you to new depths of patience!

"I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, entreat you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing forbearance to one another in love," -Ephesians 4:1-2

"Rest in the LORD and wait patiently for Him; Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way, Because of the man who carries out wicked schemes. Cease from anger, and forsake wrath; Do not fret, it leads only to evildoing. For evildoers will be cut off, But those who wait for the LORD, they will inherit the land." -Psalm 37:7-9

"Be patient, therefore, brethren, until the coming of the Lord. Behold, the farmer waits for the precious produce of the soil, being patient about it, until it gets the early and late rains. You too be patient; strengthen your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is at hand." -Galatians 6:9

I'm Kinda Weird About Christmas Music...

So, my last post was pretty intense. I know. There's been such a brew-ha-ha in the evangelical world this past week, and all of a sudden... Christmas is all up on us! So, instead of diving into some big theological breakdown of the incarnation of Christ, or continuing with serious discussions, I'm going to share my thoughts on Christmas music.

I'm never really sure how I feel about Christmas music, in general. I work in retail, and have heard every basic Christmas song on repeat since mid-November. So, by the time Christmas rolls around each year, I'm generally tired of the songs.

I also feel kind of awkward singing a lot of the standard Christmas carols about Jesus. It almost feels like Ricky Bobby praying to baby Jesus; He grew up! I get that the birth of Jesus is a big deal. Otherwise, we would never have had grown-up Jesus. God coming to Earth and taking the form of a baby, no less, is crazy and huge. I just feel weird singing to and about baby Jesus. Yeah, I know it's goofy. So are these thoughts about these songs:

Feliz Navidad- I have several conflicting feelings about this one. I truly enjoy the Spanish language, but I really feel like "Feliz Navidad" is a lot like Taco Bell in musical form: it tries so hard to feel authentically Hispanic that it gives away the fact that it isn't really Hispanic. Do Spanish-speakers enjoy this song as much as English-speakers?

I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus- Have you ever thought how weird this song is? The entire song revolves around the singer's mother kissing and tickling Santa Claus, and how his dad wouldn't have enjoyed it. In fact, the little boy even threatens to rat on Santa because he knows this is wrong. It is literally a song about a little boy's mom having an affair with Santa. There's just something off about this...

Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer- Another one that is somewhat disturbing. Grandma got turnt, skipped out on her meds, and then her family allows her to leave the house. If Grandma is in such an advanced state that her medications are that important, why did her family let her get drunk, and then allow her to leave on her own?! Once walking about the blustery outdoors on Christmas Eve (still drunk and off her drugs), Grandma is then killed when Santa hits her with his sleigh. They didn't even check to see if she made it home, as they found her Christmas morning. Her lifeless corpse was left uncared for all night. Did no one think to check on an intoxicated old lady? What the what? The rest of the song then proceeds to be about Grandpa's coping mechanisms about his wife's death. We sing this song with smiles on our faces and hearts without a care.

Up On the Housetop- Two things: A) this song is annoying and B) I don't get the lyric "Ho ho ho, who wouldn't go?" Who wouldn't go where? The housetop? I wouldn't! I'm terrified of heights, and I don't know why we're encouraging children to be up on a housetop, particularly if there are hoofed creatures about up there. 

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer- Everyone that knows me knows that the claymation movie about Rudolph is my favorite Christmas movie, and there's a reason: it is amazingly NOT PC. Seriously. An island of toys known as misfits? Outcast elves who wish to advance their education? Banning a child from sports for a physical deformity? So. Many. Hilarious. Things. The song also has this not-politically correct theme, as it pretty much tells the same story. It's a song all about a freak that doesn't get to play reindeer games, but fortunately, since his deformity helps everyone out one time, he at least has a bit of redemption. I wonder if that one year was enough to heal the psychological wounds caused by years of Christmases past.

Hark the Herald Angels Sing- Perfect example of singing to/about baby Jesus. Glory to the King? Absolutely. But why do we join the angelic host as they proclaim the newborn King? They proclaimed that 2,000 years ago. It's the equivalent of saying, "join with the town crier to proclaim George Washington the first president of the United States." It's a good thing, and I certainly am glad that Jesus was proclaimed by the angels upon His birth, but I'm not with them. I literally cannot proclaim with them, as they are no longer proclaiming that news. It's past tense now. I just don't understand.

So, that's my post for this week. I hope you enjoyed a change of pace from me this week, and have a great holiday time with your family. From the Freed Bug to you, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

PS: What Christmas songs have lyrics that bug you? I'd love to hear! Comment below!

A&E, Suspensions, and the Return of Ancient Cultural Views of Christianity

Last night, A&E announced that Phil Robertson of their smash-hit "Duck Dynasty" was suspended for comments that he made during an interview with GQ Magazine. During the course of the interview, he made several comments that were "antihomosexual" or "antigay," including his stating that homosexuality was a sin (along with swindling, adultery and terrorism, to name a few) and a discourse on his lack of understanding as to why a man would choose a man over a woman. Naturally, the social media world exploded.

The hashtag #istandwithphil emerged from some tweeters, while others were enraged that the original Duck Commander would refer to homosexuality a sin. The point of my post today is not to discuss whether I agree with Mr. Robertson or not. I have posted on my thoughts about homosexuality before, and I get tired of one issue being the entire focus of the Church in the public arena. There are lots of issues that need discussing from a Biblical standpoint, not just homosexuality. If you want my opinions on that, go here or read Romans 1:18-32. Email me and we can chat. That's just not my focus today.

Instead, I want to briefly touch on what is rapidly becoming the norm: the media do not like Jesus.

It really isn't very surprising to me that A&E would make the decision to suspend Phil, and it all boils down to a very simple question: who was the most profitable group to keep happy? Would it benefit A&E more to keep Christians or the LGBT community happy? Think about this, if you can, from A&E's point of view.

They run a business, and it's primary focus is to make money. They had to make a business decision here. They had two options:
     1. Support Phil. This keeps Duck Dynasty untouched, which is easily their most profitable show,
         and it keeps their Christian fan base happy. However, the LGBT community would rake them
         over the coals, thus causing massive PR damage and potentially harming the channel in the
         future.
     2. Reprimand Phil. This option makes a stand for gay rights, and would win massive bonus points
         with much of the more liberal media types, considering A&E would be going against one of its
          biggest stars. However, this would potentially cause the Robertsons to pull out of Duck
          Dynasty, thus costing A&E its biggest show...ever.

They obviously chose option two. They probably assume that Duck Commander CEO Willie Robertson will go into damage control, put together some sort of apology, and business will be back to normal. If he doesn't? Well, Duck Dynasty has had a good run, everyone has made plenty of money, and A&E can send the Robertson clan back to the Outdoor Channel. What this whole ordeal illustrates is just another example of a growing trend: Christianity is becoming marginalized.

It is no longer normal or even socially acceptable to be a Bible-believing Jesus follower in the United States. If you wish to be deemed intelligent, caring, loving, or with the times, then orthodox Christian values cannot be yours. We live in a day where adultery is nearly expected, greed is a cultural norm and several actions that the Bible clearly calls sin are now considered human rights issues. That is why A&E chose the LGBT community over the Christian community: being on the "wrong side" of a civil rights issue is bad for bottom lines. If you stand for a Biblical view of life, then you are deemed at best ignorant and pitiable, and at worst arrogant and hateful. This should not surprise us.

Like Duck Dynasty, the Church has had a good run in the spotlight here in America. Christianity came over when we still had British accents, and has been rooted in our country ever since. Many founding fathers were Christian, as have been many other prominent figures in our nation's history. Yet, we have something else in common with Duck Dynasty: it is shocking that it even happened.

I remember watching Phil, Willie and Jase on the Outdoor Channel with my brother, who was an avid fan of the Robertson family before they were on basic cable. He read Phil's book before it was renamed "Happy, Happy, Happy," and had a poster on his wall of them years ago. So, when it was announced that the guys from Duck Commander were getting a TV show, I was shocked. It was so weird to me. The bearded guys that paint their faces up and hunt are going to be on A&E? No way.

Count it double when the show actually took off. I still sit back and marvel at how that family went from the darlings of hunters to become America's favorite family. It's crazy. And yet, if the early Church leaders looked at the Church in American history, they'd be even more floored.

Think about it: eleven out of the twelve disciples were martyred, with the only survivor being the exiled disciple that Jesus loved, John. John the Baptist was beheaded, and so was Paul. The Church was beaten, stoned, and massacred by both Jewish leaders and Roman authorities during the time that the New Testament was written. The bodies of Christians were used as torches, lighting roadways in the Roman Empire. Riots broke out. It wasn't cool to be a Christian; you only joined The Way if you meant it. In fact, the name "Christian" was originally a derogatory term for these followers of Jesus, insinuating that they were lesser socially. Sound familiar? It should.

The name "Christian" no longer has the positive vibes around it that it once held in America. As I stated earlier, to follow Christ now means to be intolerant and stupid. We hate, according to civil rights activists. We paraphrase ignorantly, according to Macklemore. We don't even know our own God, according to those who claim that Jesus was only about love.

The truth is this: we are called to love, yes, but also to call people to repent. Jesus's first words in ministry were not "all we need is love," but instead "repent, because the kingdom of Heaven has come near" (Matthew 4:17). We are to follow Jesus in this ministry, begging people to turn away from their sin and to God. In order to call someone away from sinful behavior, we are declaring them sinners. We are stating that, like ourselves, these people are in rebellion to God. They have done wrong. As Phil said to GQ:

"Don’t be deceived. Neither the adulterers, the idolaters, the male prostitutes, the homosexual offenders, the greedy, the drunkards, the slanderers, the swindlers—they won’t inherit the kingdom of God."

People do not appreciate being told that they are not perfect. I don't, for that matter. The fact is, however, that every person on this earth is born into a life of sin. We are all sinners, and that sin has us destined for Hell without turning from it and running into the gracious love of our Savior. This truth, this Gospel, is not deemed good news by someone who believes that they have not done wrong. Thus, just as the call to repent caused John the Baptist, Paul, Peter, and even Jesus to be hated, we will be hated.

The Church has, by the grace of God, had a long time of peace, acceptance and popularity here in the States. However, we are rapidly headed for a time where we will be hated. This is only the beginning. People will not suddenly enjoy the call to repentance; they will only loathe it more and more, and in turn, the same loathing will grow toward those who call. We must remain faithful, no matter what, and remember that the world does not like us. Satan has blinded the heart of the unbeliever, so we cannot expect those who are in rebellion to God to tolerate or accept us, even if they expect the same out of us. Persecution, intolerance towards God's people and a hatred for  the call to repentance has existed since the Church began; the Church in America is just seeing it with a different coat of paint.

Flashpoints: Assisted Suicide/Euthanasia

This is part of the Flashpoint series, in which I will talk about controversial issues from a Biblical standpoint. I hope to humbly and respectfully approach these issues when I post on them, as they are difficult conversations and I am by no means an expert of anything. I only aim to help us think through some difficult things with the aid of His guidance. If you have any topics you'd like for me to explore, please write the suggestion in the comment section below.

No sane person enjoys seeing someone else in pain. We may enjoy violent movies, games or television shows, but no one that I know truly enjoys watching someone else in pain. That’s why we all cringe when a football player is slow to get up and look away when the news reports on someone in pain. We don’t enjoy true pain in real people.

This is only escalated in people that we love. When my brother wrecked his bike and slammed his face into the asphalt, I didn’t laugh at his hurt. Instead, I wanted him to stop being in pain. We desire for those around us to be comfortable, and we want them to be happy. It is this desire in the human heart that drives the debate of euthanasia/assisted suicide/hastened death to the minds of people.

Upon reading Nicola G. Raye’s “A Hastened Death,” I was confronted with my own thoughts on this issue. This post will be my working through of this idea, which will begin by looking at what Miss Raye said, work through this issue with my belief system, and then I will conclude with my thoughts on hastened death. Let us begin with a recap of how Nicola Raye and her father approached this very difficult issue. 

An Atheist’s Perspective 

Nicola Raye’s father in the essay, which I presume was a true story, was a brilliant man. He was active in many facets of his life: he walked daily, wrote regularly and engaged in thought-provoking debates. In fact, the knowledge that the way he died is sparking such discussions would probably make him rather happy. He was a philosopher and an intellectual.

All of this was Nicola’s father before the strokes. The first stroke only seemed to affect him a bit, as his mood soured slightly, but little else seemed different. Years later, the next stroke started the downward slope. He ended up bound in a wheelchair with slurred speech. Even though therapy helped some, he could no longer live life as he once could. He couldn’t write on his computer, take walks or engage in conversations like he did before the second stroke. His life was dwindling, and would never return to the way it once was.

The entire Raye family discussed his life with him, and Nicola’s father decided that he wanted to die. Even after he did a year and a half of antidepressants, the man still wanted to die. He simply did not enjoy life as he once did, and had no desire to continue on in this state. As an atheist, Mr. Raye did not see any purpose to his life beyond what he enjoyed. There was no divine calling or anything on his life, and he did not believe in any kind of life after death. The way he saw it, life is to be enjoyed for the short time that we are here. If we cannot do so, then we might as well cease to exist. So, with the help and support of his family, he ate some chocolate pudding with a bunch of pills crushed into it. He took some pictures, watched TV, had one last smoke, and fell into eternal sleep. 

An Christ Follower’s Perspective

This is heartbreaking to me, and a difficult issue to work through. I am saddened that this once-brilliant man found himself in such a difficult position. I am brokenhearted that his family had to watch him deteriorate before their eyes, and that everyone involved felt that the best option for him was to just die.

I can understand completely. I am also an active person, much like Nicola Raye’s father. I am constantly on the move, doing something with my life. I write, read, engage in deep conversations over coffee, take walks and bike rides at the park, swim at the lake and many other things that a neurological disease could take away from me. I would be rather miserable if all I could do was sit in a chair and mumble. Therefore, this essay caused me to take a long look at how I feel about hastening death in cases like this. I needed to search my heart, and most importantly as a follower of Jesus Christ, I needed to search His Word.

I was curious to see what Scripture said about the idea of assisting a loved one into death, or even if I were to be in that position. I was not sure if the Bible would have much to say on the matter, but I scoured over the pages of Scripture, and found a few different ideas that really seemed to point in one direction on this very understandable debate.

There is only one case of hastened death by someone else’s hand in all of Scripture (at least that I could find), and it is found in 1 Samuel 31. Here, we see Israel’s first king, Saul, surrounded on a mountain by his enemies. They would like nothing more than to tear him apart and kill him slowly and violently. As he looked certain death in the eyes, Saul asked his assistant (known as an armor bearer) to run him through with a sword. Saul figured that a quick death at the hands of a friend was better than the possibly slow and agonizing death at the hands of enemies, similar to how someone could feel that eating poisoned pudding at the hands of family would be a better way to go out than slow and agonizing deterioration of the nervous system. I can see the line of thinking, without a doubt, but Saul’s friend wouldn’t do it. He was afraid, and instead Saul was forced to kill himself. Therefore, we are left to speculate on the exact view in Scripture of Saul’s thinking. I can think of  several passages that could assist in our interpretation, however.

The first is in Genesis 1:26-27, which says: 

Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness. They will rule the fish of the sea, the birds of the sky, the livestock, all the earth, and the creatures that crawl on the earth.” So God created man in His own image; He created him in the image of God; He created them male and female.

Here, we see that God made man and woman in His image. We are earthly representations, the physical depiction of the Lord of the universe. We are made to represent Him on this earth, much as an earthly king will put up statues of himself to show that he rules that land.

Furthermore, the Psalms talk of how God knew us before we were born, and that we are precious and wonderfully made by God. We are not just His image; we as a race are the treasured image of God that He has made specially and individually, as a master artist works each work with a love and individual effort. I am very different from you: in appearance, speech, interests, age, height, background…the list goes on! We are all uniquely and differently made to represent a God that is beyond all understanding and expression, and He treasures us. He would never want us to ignore that and think that our life would be best utilized by ending it. That’s why in Exodus 20, Moses wrote that one of the Ten Commandments was to not murder. We don’t murder because God values life.

Even more, if you are a Christian, then you have an even greater reason to stay alive. 1 Corinthians 3:16-17 says: 

Don’t you yourselves know that you are God’s sanctuary and that the Spirit of God lives in you? If anyone destroys God’s sanctuary, God will destroy him; for God’s sanctuary is holy, and that is what you are.

The very Spirit of God dwells within Christians, and our bodies have been made into a temple for the Lord. We must keep that in mind! How dare we think that we could know better what to do with the cherished image of God that even houses His Spirit than the God who made it? The arrogance that we have to believe that we know when to end life more than God is amazing, and honestly is even convicting me. We must value life more than this.

Rather than looking at deteriorating health as a curse or as something to run from, why should it be any different than any other problem in our lives? God ordains, in His sovereignty, that we go through trials in this life. Satan still has a limited amount of rule in this world, and he intends to cause us as much trouble as possible. Between those two truths, we can be certain that we will experience any number of things that will make our life less than it may have once been. It could be a heart-wrecking divorce, where your treasured partner in life decides to leave you for someone else. It could be the death of a child or loved one around you. Nicola discussed his pain and agony at watching his father suffer, and then die. What’s to say that Nicola doesn’t drop into a dark state, quitting his job and becoming clinically depressed? His nights and days begin to run together, he stops eating, and is totally miserable. Clinical depression can be even more debilitating than a neurological disease; what if Nicola remembers his dad’s line of thinking (that life would not get better, so better to die) , and in his depressed state, feels that he has also reached the point of no return. Suicide would start looking awful good to him, wouldn’t it?

The point is this: we will all suffer. Few will suffer in ways that assisted death seems logical and merciful, but we must look at all suffering, no matter how bad it seems, through the same lens. The apostle Paul had a “thorn in his side” that the Lord would not remove. Did that mean that he wouldn’t persevere and soldier on for the glory of God through that? Of course that isn’t the case, and it is the same for John, who was left to die on an island. John was exiled, never allowed to be with people again to share the name of Jesus. So what did he do with his new and lesser life? He continued to worship, and eventually wrote the book of Revelation, where Jesus talks of His return to remove suffering from this world.

We must keep things in perspective. Suffering, even to the point of strokes and ALS and other neurological diseases, must be kept with the perspective that God is in control of it all. Nothing happens to His cherished, individually created images without His allowance. He is sovereign, and if he will put His Spirit within a man with a deteriorating brain and body (such as my pastor-mentor-friend, who has ALS), then I will maintain that He intends to keep that person alive until He takes them home. It may not be easy, but we must trust that He knows better. He made us; who are we to finish ourselves off on our own devices?  

Since I've Been Gone

Hello there. Long time, no see. I will say, it feels weird to sit down and write on this blog. I haven't seen the familiar orange-and-gray color scheme of the Blogger homepage in quite some time. In fact, I haven't seen my blog much at all in quite some time. I periodically would check in to see if anyone had commented or anything, but overall, I truly left this thing for awhile. I needed to get away. I needed to spend sometime writing, just me and God.

Since then, I have come into a new place. A lot has happened, that's for sure. My, has my life been nuts since May. It wasn't long after my last post that my mom went in for a routine scan (to see if her cancer was back) and found a mass in her lung. About a month and a half later, a surgical procedure found that her soft-tissue sarcoma had returned. She originally had it in her left arm before this find, and went through both chemotherapy and radiation to rid her body of the disease. She was "cancer-free" for about a year-and-a-half, and then the cancer metastasized in her lung. No bueno, that's for sure.

She had the mass removed, but more returned quickly. The cancer was more aggressive and in a more dangerous spot this time, and had to be handled as such. Mom began working with the University of Texas's MD Anderson Cancer Center, which has a large number of doctors devoted to this particular form of cancer (and about every other kind, for that matter). MD Anderson is one of the very best cancer centers in the world, and they have been more than helpful in working to cure my mom.

She is rapidly approaching her final of six rounds of chemotherapy, in which she was forced to stay in the hospital for a week at a time, letting literal poison to drip into her circulatory system. It has been both a blessing and curse, seeing her receive treatment that could save her life, and yet was also making her sicker. While the first bout was difficult, this second bout has been all the more.

While this was all going on, my college ministry at the University of Kentucky (where I still attend) has been continuing our purpose of glorifying God by making disciples of our generation through prayer, relationships and studying God's Word. EPIC Ministry launched a website, made some contacts and gained some members on UK's campus, held an outdoor worship concert and even went through a study on our basic beliefs and values. We even expanded our meetings, going from a small-group Bible study to a weekly gathering with teaching and discussion times. We then brought back the small-group-only format on Sunday mornings, allowing us to spend more time together as a community in the Word and in prayer.

One of my mentors, Wayne Lipscomb, has continued to battle ALS, or Lou Gehrig's Disease. I have watched and followed as this strong man has tried to defeat this neurological monster. He has continued to work at his church, and still preaches regularly, despite being weaker than he once was.

My sister got married not long after I went on my blogging hiatus. She married her longtime friend, Trent, and they had a gorgeous wedding at their church in Louisiana. Not long ago, Trent and Brittany announced that they will be having a baby in the spring. I've already become a brother-in-law, and now it appears I will be an uncle. Weird.

I was blessed to be able to preach on several occasions over the past few months, ranging from churches in South Louisiana to Frankfort, Kentucky, and twice in my home church of Victory Baptist Church, here in Lexington, Kentucky. Each time, I am more and more affirmed in my calling that I am a preacher. That is what God put me on this Earth to do. There is nothing in my life that I receive such satisfaction from doing, and there is nothing I strive for more than to help someone in their understanding of God and His Word. I know I was questioning that when we were last together, and God resolved that internal conflict. He made Bryan Watts for one thing, and that was to preach His Word and His Name to the nations. I am a preacher at heart, and now know that I am, without a shadow of a doubt, been made to do so.

So, what have I learned through all of this? What have I learned as I left on a little time of Christ-reflecting and such? Did I "find myself," or something like that? Here's a brief touch of what I have learned:

1. I'm still learning
• You are crazy if you think that I disappeared for a while and have come back with all the answers. That doesn't happen. We are not able to "find ourselves," because our identity is not in ourselves. If you are a human, and I bet you are, then you were not made for this world. Doesn't it seem like we're always messed up or in the wrong spot? Guess what: it's because we are. We're made for so much more than the petty crap we fill our lives with. I am not made for Kroger and UK and writing and girls and friendships and NASCAR and all the other things I fill my life with. I am made for one purpose: to worship God. I am designed specifically to be a worshiper, an image-bearer of the Lord God who reigns over all. By saving me, He took it another step further by making my heart new and allowing my to come to Him. My identity and my heart are not made of myself; I cannot craft a true identity for myself. I am in Christ, and He is in me. I am His and He is mine. My identity is found solely in Him, and I must continue to realize that as time goes. If you are interested in getting a head start in finding your identity in Christ, rather than yourself, then check out the Identity in Christ reading plan by Mars Hill Church on YouVersion. It's worth a month of your time. 
2. Life is fleeting
• I have written on this in the past, but has become more and more clear to me that our lives are not but a blip on the radar of time. We have such a minuscule, yet useful, span of time here on earth to accomplish what we are set here to do. James 4:14 says that our lives are but a mist, a vapor, wisp of smoke, and that we are not to be presumptuous about tomorrow. Instead, we live for today. When Christ talks about what we treasure in Matthew 6, He goes on to say that would should not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Instead, we seek the Kingdom. We push forward from where we are now, thanking God for the position He has put us in today and living for Him in that position. It isn't unwise to make plans, but it is certainly unwise to make plans without keeping in mind that He determines what we do and could change our little plans at any given moment. Therefore, we prepare for the future, sure, but our primary focus is on what we can do for the Kingdom today. 
3. Prayer is essential
• Oh, how I have seen prayer work in the past few months! I have seen prayer sustain my mother, give my family peace, bring people to hear the Gospel when I would never expect them to listen, help me with temptations, give me direction in my life, affirm my calling and bring me closer to God. Prayer is our lifeline to God, and we must make it a priority. If you are a Christian, you must pray regularly. Nothing is more refreshing to your soul than time spent with God. I am growing in this discipline, and I encourage you to come with me on it. Let's commune with our Lord. 
4. God has got you
• No matter what, if you are in Christ, you are saved. There is no un-saving you. God is not going to toss you out to the cold and forget about you. We are held in His hand, and in Philippians 1, Paul writes that he is confident that God will finish a work in the Philippian believers. Why was he confident that God wouldn't bail on them? They were partakers of grace, and by definition, God's grace cannot have anything to do with what we do. If you are a partaker of grace, then you have God's grace. Good or bad, you're under grace. Therefore, there's nothing you can do to be unsaved! God's got you! That frees us to live for the Kingdom, because we have to pressure to make sure we're still under grace! We can't fall out, so go for it!
5. Our discussions must be intentional
• I have a friend of whom I had the privilege of spending multiple extended coffee times together with over the past few months, and she taught me one thing in particular: our conversations must revolve around Christ. How often can we get distracted in talking to our Christian friends with talk of sports, fashion, music and other odds and ends? How much easier is it to gloss over the impact of Christ in our lives when speaking to our unsaved friends? This cannot be! We must discuss Christ constantly: for encouragement and rebuke among believers and for repentance and salvation among the unbelieving. Our lives on this earth, as well as our unbelieving friends lives forever, depend upon our discussing Christ on the regular. Have we really given up our lives for Him or not?

These are just a few of the lessons I have learned in my time away.  I have learned many more, but these are just the beginning. I'm glad to be back, and I'm ready to write again. Let's do this.