I Am Not Bradley Cooper

I'm officially done with my first year of graduate school. Sure, I've got a summer class in a few weeks (let's not talk about that...), but I have completed a fall and spring semester. That happened.

Woah.

It is during this year that I have come to see how much of a work in progress that I am,a dn my awareness of that only continues to grow. I'm a construction zone, and God is the foreman for a number of people sledgehammering away my old and decrepit parts or building up new parts of me.

I really have no idea what I'm doing most of the time. I think I do, but I don't. I just try my best, put my heart in it and go. So, what do I do? How can a person that knows very little do much of anything? Let's chat.

We are made to glorify God. That's what Isaiah says in 43:7. The real question comes down to how we do that (or avoid it), and it's here that I am really trying to grow. I want nothing more than for people to look at my life (and everything I'm doing in it) and see Jesus. I want God to radiate through me like sun through a window.

And yet, ain't it easy to get discouraged? You see, here's the part where I am trying to figure this out, and maybe you are, too. I try and try and try to do what I know to do, but I feel like there is never enough time in the day or people I can love or sermons I can preach or what-have-you. I am limited.

I don't know what to do in the moments that God does give me. I've had two ministry opportunities so far today, and honestly had no idea of what to do or say in either of them. I find myself Googling about this stuff and what to say to these people, because I haven't got a clue. I am limited.

I have people close to me that need me, and I don't even know how to help them. I have family and friends that want to spend time with me, and I am unable to do it all. I have ideas upon ideas for my ministries, and lack so much to make them happen. I am limited.

And so here's maybe what I'm learning most right now: I'm limited. I know that. You, if you know me, are probably more aware of my limits than I am. Ya know who else knows about my limits? God does. He gave me my limits. Like, they are on purpose. God didn't accidentally leave the parental controls on my abilities, blocking off things that I could be doing; He limits me on purpose. And I think I know why: so I depend on Him.

I'm one of those overly-scheduled, overly-independent, type-A kinda folks. I don't depend on anyone for anything if I can help it. I'm the Lone Ranger, Lone Wolf or Lonely Island or something like that. The problem with that is that I'm not an omni-God like the Lord that can truly pull that off. All my schedules and charts and calendars and what-not can do is help me use the limited time I have to use the limited energy I have to the best of my limited knowledge for His infinite glory.

And that's okay.

That's all He is asking for me to do. He just wants my best and my whole heart. To pour out myself for Him and others and do what I can. The best way to do that: rely on Him to help me do it. I can do infinitely more with my limitedness with His non-limited help. I am not Bradley Cooper in Limitless, but I worship a God that is all that and more, who loves me and cares for me and wants to help me through this life.

I'm a work in progress. Fines are doubled as you pass me. But if I rely on Him to get the project done, I can trust and hope that He will. He is my Rest, my Rock, my Salvation, my Stronghold and my refuge. So imma pour my heart out to Him, and hope and trust He'll get it done. I am confident in His promises.

That's certainly more than Lexington can say for Centrepointe, and that's all I need.

Until next time,
The Free-Flying Lightning Bug