Once upon a time, a little lightning bug was stuck inside a mason jar, just blinking away. He was completely focused on being the brightest and getting everyone to notice him...until now. The jar was opened, and the little bug is flying away. Every bug seems to be flying toward a bright light near a porch. The light is making a buzz. Instead, our little friend is going big: he's flying for the moon.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Guest Blog: God Won't Leave You
Rachel Rummell is a friend of mine that I met in Atlanta this past January at the Passion 2011 conference. We have stayed in touch since that time, and I have been asking her about being a guest writer for this blog for almost the whole time. She is an English major at Mount Vernon Nazarene University in Mount Vernon, Ohio.
“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” – John 10:10
As I was preparing for the summer, deciding what to do with my three months off, I applied for jobs anywhere I could that offered security. I knew I could always return to the research firm I was at last summer, but I wanted a new, exciting experience as my last summer before entering the “real world.” I had applied for and gotten a job at a camp I visited last year but something just didn’t feel right. I felt there was more out there than just being a camp counselor yet again. I had received an application for an internship in Kansas City, Missouri, but they could never in a million years pick me. So I settled for Music and Ministry with my college for another summer.
I knew it would be a blast, having six guys and two girls, almost just like the last summer I had participated in the traveling worship team. Now that was a job I knew I’d love and enjoy! After the first meeting, we had all signed the contract and were ready to go shopping for our new outfits!
However, God had a different plan for my life. Driving home from college for Easter Break, I received a phone call from a new number. It was the Nazarene Publishing House, calling to offer me one of the internships I had applied for! Of course I said yes!
The only major problem I faced is that I did not own a car that I knew could make it out to western Missouri. Summer was only a few weeks away and there was no way I could find a reliable car in my very low price range to get out there safely! I was at a loss. A week and a half before finals, my mom called me, however, with news of a car for sale. Of course, loving yard sales, my mom was at a yard sale that fateful Friday where a beautiful bright red 2001 Chevy Cavalier was perched in the yard with a price tag almost low enough for me to purchase. My parents both looked at it that night and determined it was to be mine. So they bought the car, for which I would pay them back. Thus, Raphael joined my family, named after the super awesome Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. He has since gained a Superman steering wheel cover and seat cover, as well as a bumper sticker that says, “I break for SUPER POWERS!!!” He is epic.
With transportation taken care of, I had to determine where to live. I received phone numbers for living with an employee for the 8 weeks so as I looked into that, I called Darl, who seemed like a nice woman with cheap rent. I went ahead with it and was ready to leave!
Since I could decide when to start, we picked June 13 as a good starting Monday and I headed out. I drove 9 hours that first day with my mom, stayed near St. Louis, MO, and got to check out St. Louis for a morning before we drove the next 5 hours to Kansas City!! This is where things started getting iffy for me.
Darl was an older woman that I honestly didn’t feel comfortable with. She is a sweetheart, don’t get me wrong, but it just didn’t feel right at all. As my mom was standing in the airport, headed for home, I just hugged her and cried, so unsure, so scared, and feeling more alone than I think I’ve ever felt in my life. But I stuck through it and went to work the next day. There, I met Kim, who was to be my boss for the next 8 weeks. God couldn’t have picked a better boss for me! Easy-going, 29 years old, and full of adventure, Kim has just been a great person to work with and work for. When she learned who I was living with, she looked me right in the eye and said, “I have room in my basement if you want to live with me and carpool every day with me.” Joy filled my heart as I drove home to Darl’s, packed up, and moved to Kim’s townhouse in Overland Park, Kansas. That night, I slept infinitely better with a heart full of peace that God was truly taking care of me, and He hadn’t left me in the dark with a strange old woman I didn’t feel right about.
Living with Kim has made everything all the better. Now I have someone I can talk to, someone that can drive me to work almost every day that understands poor college students, and someone that can plan awesome weekends and help me sightsee and get the most out of my stay here in Kansas/Missouri. But life isn’t always full of rainbows and butterflies.
See, God knows how I work and what I need to function and have a successful time here. However, Satan knows what elements I don’t need for work, but what I need to survive in life. Living on a college campus, I am always within 5 minutes of a friend whenever I want to do something. Living 13 hours from home and being placed in a city I’ve never seen makes seeing said friends slightly challenging. I assumed I would get involved in a church college group and make friends like I would anywhere else. But things get in the way of those original plans. Not only have I yet to attend a college group in the two weeks I’ve been here, I have yet to make a friend outside of work. Yes, Kim is great. But we all have those days when we just wanna go out and see friends we haven’t seen in awhile or meet up with someone for coffee. That’s difficult when I live and work with the same person every day and who I hang out with on the weekends as well.
Satan knows I want to get out and make friends. He has arranged to make it nearly impossible. He has instilled a slight fear of driving in the city and getting lost or in an accident with these crazy drivers. He has given me a long 8 hours of work every day that I am not used to yet. He has placed me a half hour from the one church that I found a college group and was interested in attending. He has placed fatigue in me to want to stay at home every night and try to sleep, even when a fellow co-worker has invited me out. And he has placed many of my close friends in great positions where they are doing great and making money, but unable to really talk to me. In doing this, Satan has delved deep into my soul and filled it with a feeling of loneliness it seems no human can fill. He has made my 8 weeks here more difficult than I imagined.
The story doesn’t end here, though. Satan, though he thinks himself a genius, forgets that I still have God to turn to, God to talk to, God to just love on and feel His love. Yes, I feel super lonely and I feel like I’m the only one in the world who feels this negative. Yes, I feel like these 8 weeks could be miserable and just look forward to each weekend and wait for my time to go home. But I refuse. God did not bring me 13 hours from my home, away from my friends, and out of my comfort zone to make me miserable for two months. God has a bigger plan than that. God wants to take me out of my comfort zone so I can grow and feel the stretching and the molding that is taking place. In my comfort zone, I can never truly transform into the woman He has created me to be. Yet in this scary, new, and not-always-inviting place, God can change my heart and change me for a new and brighter future. It is here, in this place, that I am truly His to do what He will.
In taking me away from my friends, He is forcing me to re-evaluate some of my friendships, as well as really take to heart what being a true friend means. He is trying to erase all traces of selfishness I hide in my heart, to make me the best friend I can be to anyone who needs a friend. In taking me away from my family, He is showing me how much my family cares. When I come home on breaks from school, it is so easy to want to be around them for a few days and then get tired of it. But out here, I really see how much I truly miss them. When they are no longer 2 hours away, a simple drive, when they are at long last 13 hours away, I find I miss them more, or so it seems.
The things God can do with us when we open up to Him is incredible, how God can truly change us and mold us into who He created us to be when we let Him. What’s more amazing is how Satan tries so desperately to turn us away from God and to allow ourselves to get wrapped up in sin and lies, yet God’s love will always come back for us. He never really does leave us or forsake us. He really is always there. We may not see Him. It may take a crazy adventure to remind us that there is One who is greater than the madness of this mortal world. But when it all comes down to it, God really is always there for us and He looks out for us. We just have to be patient and learn to look for the sun on a cloudy day. Just as the sun is still there when it’s covered by clouds to bring rain, God is still there, covered by Satan and the lies that he breathes to rain on our parade. But with the sun comes a rainbow, and with God comes a way out.
Rachel has since survived Kansas City, being blessed with all that she has learned, as we read above. If you want to contact Rachel, her email is frk4jcandchocolate@yahoo.com or follow her on Twitter: @Rummellstiltskn. Hopefully her writing has shared what God has been doing in her life, and we hope to hear from her again soon.
If you are interested in being a guest blogger, contact me at thefreedbug@aol.com or via Facebook or Twitter. I'd love to hear from you and share what you have to say!
Labels:
Faith,
Guest Blogger,
Loneliness,
Protection
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