Scar Tissue and Battle Wounds: When God Seems to Have Disappeared

Last week, I talked about how God is always with us, and how we are never alone. Yet, despite this, sometimes we still feel not just that we are alone, but that He has turned His back and done exactly what He said He wouldn't do in Joshua 1:9. Sometimes, we feel like God has dropped us off on a deserted island, and left us to fend for ourselves.

This is not an uncommon feeling. Even though we know that He loves us and saved us from our sins, and would never abandon us, we still feel this way. It's human nature. We are short-sighted and incapable of putting everything into perspective. Our problems we are having right now are always the "big one," the problem that's going to do us in. We won't ever recover from this one. We're forever doomed to sulk and weep, and it's all because God turned His back on us, right? I mean, He works for the good of His people, and this ain't good. Surely He has jumped ship!

No matter how spiritual you are, no matter how secure in your faith you are or how holy you think you are, you're going to have this feeling. I personally feel like this from time to time, and it is times like this where I cry out, "God, where are you?! I'm your child, heir and son. I'm saved by your grace, and I work for your good. Why won't you show me love?" This is why I love David.

David, the second king of Israel, slayer of giants and "man after God's own heart," was a lot like me in His approach to troubles. We both are/were emotional guys that wear our feelings on our sleeves. When things are great, David would sing a song (unfortunately, I cannot sing very well) and dance for joy. He loved worshipping the Lord. But when the crap hit the fan, David broke down. He'd scream and cry out and rip his clothes and fast and yell out to God, wondering why God would leave His side. Let's look at David's anguish in the 22nd Psalm:

"My God, my God, why have You forsaken me? Why are You so far from my deliverance and from my words of groaning? My God, I cry by day, but You do not answer, by night, yet I have no rest...

Our fathers trusted in You; they trusted, and You rescued them. They cried to You and were set free; they trusted in You and were not disgraced...

But I am a worm and not a man, scorned by men and despised by people. Everyone who sees me mocks me; they sneer and shake their heads...

Do not be far from me, because distress is near and there is no one to help. Many bulls surround me...

They open their mouths against me— lions, mauling and roaring. I am poured out like water,and all my bones are disjointed; my heart is like wax, melting within me. My strength is dried up like baked clay; my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth.You put me into the dust of death. For dogs have surrounded me; a gang of evildoers has closed in on me...

But You, LORD, don’t be far away. My strength, come quickly to help me. Deliver my life from the sword,my only life from the power of these dogs. Save me from the mouth of the lion!" -Psalm 22:1-2, 6-7, 11-16, 19-21a HCSB

These are the words of a broken, desperate man. Imagine mighty King David, no longer majestic, but crying. Imagine him screaming out to God. He feels like he is going to die, and that his end is near. He has been beaten, kicked and knocked down, and all the while, it feels like God is far, far away.

But guess what? God wasn't as far away as David thought. In fact, God was working for David's good all the while, as we see one of the quickest turnarounds in all of Scripture in the second half of verse 21. Check this out:

"You have rescued me
from the horns of the wild oxen.

22 I will proclaim Your name to my brothers;
I will praise You in the congregation.

23 You who fear Yahweh, praise Him!
All you descendants of Jacob, honor Him!
All you descendants of Israel, revere Him!

24 For He has not despised or detested
the torment of the afflicted.
He did not hide His face from him
but listened when he cried to Him for help."

-Psalm 22:21b-24, HCSB

You. Have. Rescued. Me. Those are four beautiful words. God. Has. Rescued. Us. We are no longer beaten. We are not alone. In fact, we never were. God was fighting for and alongside us the whole time. We're gunna make it out of this. Even if there is a permanent scar (as fighters and warriors often have), that doesn't mean we lost. A scar shows we made it through. When we die, we will all have lots of scars. We may be getting beat up over and over again, but God will keep saving us.

Kevin DeYoung once said that "Christians often forget that life is a pilgrimage, and we think Heaven is on Earth. If we are looking for Heaven on Earth, we will be consistently miserable and disappointed. If we remember that life is more similar to a desert, however, we not only will be less disappointed by our troubles, but will actually find ourselves more happy" (roughly quoted by memory from Just Do Something).

Life's a desert pilgrimage. We are marching forward towards the Kingdom. Things will trip us up, things will knock us down. We will be jumped by bandits and collapse of exhaustion. But I urge you: keep fighting. God is by your side and in your corner. If our God is for us, than what could stand against? And trust me, He is for us.